tell me what you think

  • Discuss tell me what you think in the The Music Lounge forum in area BMX-Forum Community - more stuff; ok i was sad and depressed one day listen to music and i jsut start writing tell me what you think what i could change. if you would liten to it... ...
copperoom

copperoom

New Member
tell me what you think post #1
ok i was sad and depressed one day listen to music and i jsut start writing tell me what you think what i could change. if you would liten to it. please im not a song writer dont flame it. the name of it is broken on the inside


Tell me it wasn't a mistake

That I'm not crazy

If I would come back to you

That I can trust...you

Not to break my, my heart again

Cause...





I still love you

I'm still thinking about you

I can't get you out of my head

Please, please tell me it wasn't a mistake

I don't want to waste my time with you

If, if you are just going to kill me again

I hope I can have another chance but I just don't know...

About anything anymore





I still love you

I'm still thinking about you

I can't get you out of my head

Please, please tell me it wasn't a mistake

I don't want to waste my time with you

If, if you are just going to kill me again

I hope I can have another chance but I just don't know...

About anything anymore



Tell me it wasn't a mistake

That i'm not crazy

To come back to you

How do I know you've changed?

How do I know that you...

Won't break my heart again.



I still love you

I'm still thinking about you

I can't get you out of my head

Please, please tell me it wasn't a mistake

I don't want to waste my time with you

If, if you are just going to kill me again

I hope I can have another chance but I just don't know...

About anything anymore



Who thought your pretty smile

And beautiful eyes

Could hurt so much



Now I just sit around and think

What would happen if?

I stayed with you



I still love you

I'm still thinking about you

I can't get you out of my head

Please, please tell me it wasn't a mistake

I don't want to waste my time with you

If, if you are just going to kill me again

I hope I can have another chance but I just don't know...

About anything anymore



I tell myself she's not like that but

I can't stop what she's done

You say you love me but

How can I believe anything you say anymore?

Ive been lied to and hurt too much



Now i'm done playing this game

But when I say I love you I hope you know I mean it​
 
Sick Boy

Sick Boy

New Member
tell me what you think post #2
You repeat too much. Be more descriptive. But otherwise not bad.
 
ridecleveland

ridecleveland

New Member
tell me what you think post #3
copperoom

copperoom

New Member
tell me what you think post #4
thanks for the input guys i tried again at a new song i hope its better.


Healed heart

You know ill always be thinking of you
This day I remember you forever.
I’ve found the one that I will always
Be with

I know
You’re trying to guess who
I’m not saying
The best person to ever live is
The only thing you need to know

I would never leave you
Never yell
Never get mad

Always just want to talk
To just be with you
Cause I know I can’t get you out of my head
So why even try

I know
Your trying to guess who
I’m not saying
The only person that truly makes me happy
The only thing you need to know

Its too early to tell
But I know
That I will always
Be here
For you

I know
You’re trying to guess who
I’m not saying
The best person to ever live is
The only thing you need to know

I sit thinking of you
Wondering if it will ever mean anything
I do this in hope that, that
I never go thru it again

It may just seem like another relationship to you
To me it’s different
Its real and I mean everything I say
 
Last edited:
Superbeast

Superbeast

New Member
tell me what you think post #5
thats not bad
i personally write songs (mainly rap) and poetry, not bad for not writing anything else
 
the redeemer

the redeemer

New Member
tell me what you think post #6
pretty good
and ur an emo kid non-conforming as can be ud b emo to if u looked just like me paint on ur nails and make=up on ur face almost emo enough to start shaving ur legs
lol
but pretty good
hint: same syllables in each line or atleast a pattern
and: try to ryme (use a thesaurs)
 
ridecleveland

ridecleveland

New Member
tell me what you think post #7
pretty good
and ur an emo kid non-conforming as can be ud b emo to if u looked just like me paint on ur nails and make=up on ur face almost emo enough to start shaving ur legs
lol
but pretty good
hint: same syllables in each line or atleast a pattern
and: try to ryme (use a thesaurs)
Thursaurs is a vocialists best friend.

The revised version is alot better.
 

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